Quitting Social Media

I’ve quit social media.

Probably not forever. But for a little while.

Why?

I couldn’t handle it anymore, the relentless cycle of photos and news and updates.

I couldn’t stop myself from checking, for more likes, more comments.

I couldn’t resist reading the comments even when I knew it would make me angry.

I was like a powder-keg, waiting to go off, and social media was so quick to light my fuse.

This isn’t some kind of moral statement; I don’t think social media is evil and wrong.

This is just an acknowledgement of my weakness, my need, my temptation in this season.

To scroll endlessly instead of doing the things I should be.

Of liking an Instagram photo instead of making the effort to talk to someone.

Of using  all the quick and easy social shortcuts that things like Facebook and Twitter and Instagram make so accessible.

I”ve quit social media.

To give my brain a break, to give my heart a break.

To shield myself from the pressure of having to have something worthwhile to upload.

To block myself from the temptation of uploading everything as a cry for human contact.

I’m practicing living in the loneliness of my life, rather than posting a photo to fill the ache.

I’m learning to think my thoughts without the need to share them and see how many likes it can get.

I’m trying to lean into the awkwardness of having nothing to do.

I’m embracing my surroundings, sitting up and paying attention.

I’m trying to not use a device as a crutch for when I want to run and hide.

I’m starting to face and process my emotions rather than distract myself from them.

I’ve quit social media.

I’m breathing easier.

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